- find the right therapist
- self awareness is key
- it takes time
I would have made an amazing therapist, or at least that’s what I tell myself as I regularly dish out personal advice to my salon clients. My therapy journey started when I was 16 and facing a multitude of depression and body-image issues. Sixteen-year-old me would be slightly annoyed to know that those issues still have annual season passes to my life.
My typical method of working through my emotional problems, as a teenager, was to write in a journal. I guess I reached a level of adolescence angst unrecognizable and down-right scary to my parents because when I was 14 they did the unthinkable; they read my journal. It was a traumatic event in my teenage years and I still cringe when I think about the things they had to read. I’d say my rebellious angst was never quite resolved because after that treacherous act of betrayal I continued to spiral into episodes of depression, duh. I also never made it back to the journaling world after, despite my parents’ promises to never read my journal again and to even supply a safety box with key or combo. Some things just don’t feel the same after you’ve been burned, ya dig? Anyway, my mom knew a lady whom was willing to take on an angsty 16 year old in her therapy practice. I made my mom go with me for my first session, so badass.
The biggest takeaway from my first therapy session was that my mom so obviously needed therapy more than I did. I sat and listened to my mom go through all of her own family dynamics and I couldn’t get a word in edge-wise.
Find the Right Fit
I often recommend people try out therapy, since I’m a die-hard lifer, and many people immediately shut me down by explaining they have tried and it never helped. I will bite my tongue when I’m given that response but if I’m feeling froggy I explain that sometimes we don’t click with the first therapist we see. To get the most out of your sessions, you really need to find a therapist whom you click with. My current therapist used shoes as a metaphor; sometimes you need to find the right fit and when other styles don’t, it doesn’t mean they are any less of a shoe, it just doesn’t fit.
I’m currently on my fifth therapist, and God-willing my last.
Self-Awareness is Everything
Self-awareness is king. Every single recovery program for any kind of problem will start with acknowledging the problem because we can’t fix a problem if we don’t recognize there is a problem in the first place. That narcissist boyfriend of your friend will never be able to work on those narcissistic personality traits until he can recognize and admit he has those traits; and if you’ve ever met a narcissist, well lol, good luck buddy, prayers.
Not to pat myself on the back but my therapist told me early on, in our journey, she appreciated my ability to be very self-aware. So basically, I’m a self-awareness Olympian.
Progress Takes Time